Remembering Marriage

In being pregnant and eagerly anticipating the arrival of our beautiful baby girls in April... or March... I've been thinking about what life will look like. What does like look like now, and how will it change? I don't have all the answers to that question. I mean, I have a few ideas. And of course people's input. But can you really know?

Now, I wake up a few times in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. Then I climb back into bed. Sometimes it takes me a little bit to fall asleep. Sometimes it doesn't. Soon, I will be woken up many many times to sweet sounds, or loud cries. And I will attempt to feed those babies and put them back to bed. But they might not be ready to go back to bed. And they might still cry. And then I might cry. Because we're all tired. I will wake up in the morning (I think the definition of morning will be redefined... although I am a night nurse, so I like to think I understand the wee hours of the night and morning) exhausted. And I will do it all over again. And it will be worth it.

Now, J and I decide what we want for dinner. If we want to go out, we go out. If we want pizza, we have pizza. Or make quesadillas together. Soon, going out will be a once-thought-of-now-there's-no-way inkling in the back of our minds. We probably won't have 30 minutes of quiet to make quesadillas. There won't be dinner if it wasn't thought up much sooner, or supplied by our amazing families. And it will be worth it.

Now, our house is relatively quiet. I say, "it's too quiet" sometimes and turn on music to fill the space. I talk to the dogs and our little Luigi like they are people. [which they are definitely smarter than most give them credit for]. Soon, there will be moments when I think, can it just be quiet? And once it is quiet, I will tiptoe to protect that quiet. For however many minutes it lasts. But the noise will be worth it.

Now, J and I read before bed. We chat and snuggle. And we go to bed when we want to. [when I'm not working]. Soon, we will be lucky if we get any moments in bed at the same time. One will probably fall into bed exhausted followed by the other after the babies are finally sleeping... for maybe an hour. And it will be worth it.

There will be a thousand little changes. And all of them will be amazing. Some will be challenging. I'm sure there will be times when I wish for the simplicity of now. And now, things don't even seem so simple. But they will soon.

I've been thinking about my husband and how much I love him, and how much I love these girls already. And how these girls are probably going to take quite a bit of attention from our marriage. And that's okay. We know that. 

But I want our marriage to be first. I'm not sure exactly what that looks like, but I think that's maybe the biggest danger of having children. That suddenly because they cry for attention, they take much of the love too. I don't think it's intentional, and even that it's necessarily bad. But I want to protect our marriage. I want to be more in love with my husband in six months than I am now. And years down the road, when they are all grown, I want to look at my husband and still truly know him. And him to truly know me. 

And for our marriage to be first, God must be first first. Because I know He is our strength. He will carry us and He will be the glue that holds us all together. Because when we love Him, we can love each other, and in turn love our children with the deepest love imaginable. I can't wait!

I've noticed this blog entry floating around the interweb over the last few days. Becky articulates this so much better than I am. Well, she's a few years ahead of me as far as kids go. I'm thankful for others who understand. It's a must-read.

Lord, protect our marriage and our family. Fill us up with love overflowing for each other and for our children, and for you. Be our strength and our center. Thank you for your faithfulness.

{twin} Pregnancy thus Far

I haven't been very good at keeping track of how pregnancy is going in writing. So instead, I'll write one long post with pretty much all the bump pictures I've taken (which actually isn't as many as I wanted) ... so I remember. Journey with me back to last August... back to the beginning. :)

August 11, 2013 - we found out we were 5 weeks pregnant!

We kept it hush hush for awhile as we slowly let people in on our secret.

Within about four days of finding out we were pregnant, all the way to almost week 16, I was so sick. Nausea and vomiting all the way. So not many pictures were taken during that time, since my time was spent making it through work, and then resting until I had to go back to work. Which was extra challenging, since my work didn't know I was pregnant!

Cravings? Nothing too crazy... Just a Wendy's junior bacon cheeseburger and chocolate Frosty. :) So thankful to my mom, sis, and J who brought me this meal countless times when nothing else would work. 

Besides that? String cheese. And crackers until I couldn't stand saltines anymore.

What did I hate? apples.

We did have excitement around week 13 when we went in for our first ultrasound and our baby got her first picture taken. At this point, we only knew about one baby. And we have the picture to prove it. Where baby B was hiding, we still don't know. We were so excited to hear and see her heartbeat (we also didn't know she was a she at this point... in fact, John was set on the fact that it was definitely a boy. And I was pretty sure too).

Week 14 (October 2013) - thinking I was over being sick by this point, I planned a trip up to Seattle and Oregon for the two of us. Turns out, I was still sick. But we managed some special memories and laughs in the midst of it. :)

Week 16 - beginning of November. Starting to have a tiny bump. Now everyone (minus facebook) knew we were pregnant and I was happy since I finally had a couple days of no nausea. We had a doctor's appointment this week and baby is doing fine! (still just one...) We also moved this week from our sweet first owned condo into a house we are renting. Thank goodness I had slightly more energy for that. Although, we hired movers... I will always hire movers when moving! Worth every penny!

19 weeks - in our new home. So thankful to be feeling better still! Minus being tired. Still waiting for the official 'first movement' from baby.

Almost 20 weeks (half way!) - first bump picture I posted. This week was Thanksgiving, and I had a one-of-a-kind perfect spa day with Mom and Carly (Mom's treat!) complete with my first pregnancy massage and a mani-pedi, and yummy snacks/drinks/food. Our big ultrasound is next week!!!

We had a few Christmas/maternity photos taken by my college friend, the lovely Desiree Fortin of Shutter and Spice Photography two days before our ultrasound. We even snapped a couple photos for a gender reveal. ha! That didn't really work!

And then, we found out for sure we were having a GIRL... but not just one... TWO!

That was sure fun to tell our families!!! And friends, and work girls, and and and!

21+4 weeks - Grandma's birthday tea time with the ladies (I'm attempting to show the bump, which you couldn't see in the pic with Grandma :)) ... and lots of 'oh my goodness TWIN GIRLS!' talk! And I finally felt one of them move this week! J helped me by feeling what was like a twitch at the same time I felt it. SO exciting. I had been waiting to feel them!

24 weeks - Christmas Day with my beautiful sister (she is ecstatic to be an auntie!)

25 weeks - between Christmas and New Year's

26 weeks - January 7, 2014

We had a follow-up ultrasound last week and the girls are looking great! Fun thing about twins is because they are considered 'high-risk', we get more ultrasounds to check on them/watch them! 

(ps: Brinkley is the sweetest funniest dog!)

and today... 27+3 weeks (did they just pop out or what?!)

Other than getting really sick this week with some crazy flu/cold/bronchitis combo, I've been feeling pretty great this trimester. They are both moving more and more each day. Little A is on the right and Little B is on the left. I've been praying for them lots and trying to keep a little journal (although two journals is hard!). 

I'm SO thankful for these two precious gifts God is blessing us with. J and I (and our fams) can't be more excited to meet them and hold them and love them! Our babies!

Little Letters

Dear Steve,
     Happy birthday to the best stepdad ever. Can't wait for you to get to be a grandpa this year. Love you.

Dear mail lady,
     I appreciate you faithfully delivering our mail every day, but would you mind closing the box just a bit quieter? It never ceases to freak out my puppies and wake me from my work naps.

Dear cold/flu/bronchitis,
     Whatever you are, you are no longer welcome in my body. Can you please go away? I'm tired of sounding like a smoker, having zero energy, and missing things.

Dear Little A and Little B,
     I am so in love with you girls already!! Thank you for continuing to move around while I've been sick to reassure me you're doing just fine. Daddy and I are working on the perfect names for you both. We just can't wait to meet you!

Dear Michael W Smith,
     25 or some albums later, and you still know how to rock the house. Thanks for singing a few of hubby's favorites. He is most definitely your biggest fan.

Dear Sansom family,
     Thank you so much for the extra special delivery of our sweet homemade twins sign in our mail yesterday. You all mean so much to me and I can't wait for you to meet my girls so soon!

Dear Adrian,
     You are a little miracle. I love your little voice and your random phone calls. I can't believe you're gonna be four years old in just a couple months!

Dear messy clutter of my house,
     One day I'll clean you and organize you. Trust me, I'm not ignoring you. But goodness you take a lot of energy! Thanks for being gracious and providing a roof over our heads anyway.

Dear J,
     You work so. hard. I am so. proud. of. you. And I cannot. wait. to hang out on weekends again. Thanks for taking care of me even when you're tired and engaging in conversation when I ask you "what do you think about ..... for a name?" Can't wait to watch these girls steal your heart. Save some for me ;).

Dear Panera,
     Can I put you on daily delivery to my house? You make everything better, whether the day is hot or cold, sick or healthy, good or bad.

Dear Jesus,
     You are Enough. You are my strength and my song. You carry me, and you are protecting and growing these tiny angels day after day. Thank you for being everything.

Just Us {maternity/Christmas photos}

My sweet friend and talented photographer, Desiree, took a few photos of us 

a few days before we found out we were having twin girls :). 

I was 20+5 weeks pregnant.

Thank you Shutter and Spice Photography :)

Two by Two {our multiplying family}

Well, I haven't been very good at writing through this pregnancy, considering I'm 23+4 weeks and over halfway... but I do have some exciting news! 

We found out two weeks ago (gosh, only two weeks ago??) that we are having ... not one ... but

TWO BABY GIRLS!!!

That's right... we're having TWINS!!!

John and I could not be more excited. Of course with that realization comes more nervousness and uncertainty {I thought I wouldn't sleep with just one!...how will I feed them both...grocery shopping alone??...etc...}

We invited our families over the evening we found out (12/3/13!) and told them by ultrasound picture. 

Needless to say, we have some very excited grandparents! 

Everyone I've shared with has been {for the most part} so encouraging and excited for us.

I've also heard many twin stories :)

Even today in the grocery store line, the lady behind me is a grandma of twin girls!

I have to say, there is quite a connection between people with twins. I'm so excited to be a part of it.

Our due date is still set at April 15, 2014, but I'm aiming to make it to the last week of March. At that point, they will be 37 weeks and term. Praying for two healthy baby girls and a continued healthy pregnancy. 

Lord, thank you for the blessing of two baby girls growing inside me. Please protect them and grow them proportionately, each in their own little sac. May their bodies be healthy, their minds know your truth, and their hearts your love, and the love of their mommy and daddy. 

"'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the Lord.

'For as the heavens are higher than the earth, 

so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.'"

Isaiah 55:8-9

Little Letters

Dear rockstar husband,
     Monday morning I came home from work to clean folded clothes on my dresser. This made me feel so loved. I nominate you to be the official folder of laundry in our home. :)

Dear Mom,
     I loved cheering for the 3-day walkers with you last weekend almost as much as I loved walking it with you two years ago. You are such a great encourager, and handing out those little oranges was brilliant! I love that we will always share that experience.

{2011 walking and 2013 cheering}

Dear Baker,
     You've been so good trying not to bark at the neighbor dogs. I just think you're the cutest and such a sweet little snuggle puppy. You're so silly though - you're attached to me at the hip all day until bedtime when you go sleep on the couch. I wish you could tell me your little thoughts!

Dear backyard,
     You still scare Emma, as evidenced by her running quickly back inside after she goes potty. But I think you are growing on my pups. Thank you for your convenience, your freshness, and your beautiful view.

Dear sweet growing baby,
     You are 19 weeks! I'm told you are the size of an heirloom tomato this week. Last week you were a sweet potato... I hope you aren't shrinking. :) I can't wait to feel your little somersaults and kicks. You are my little treasure!

Dear Emma,
     You turned five this weekend! You are my kindred spirit puppy and I love you SO much. Thanks for rescuing us, bearsie.

Dear sister,
     You came over at 7am for breakfast after I texted you a good deal earlier than that. Then after breakfast we went to Target and McDonalds. Thanks for being awake so early and always being my hangout buddy. I love our sister dates!

Dear Jesus,
     During this month of thankfulness, I can't help but be overwhelmed with the fact that you are the reason for thankfulness. Thank you for your faithfulness, your grace, your love, and your truth. You are the reason for my joy.

Dear marshmallow fireside candle and hot chocolate with marshmallows,
     You two have made me such a happy girl over the last few days. Can this season never end so we can continue our little morning tradition together?

Dear J,
     Last week you smiled when I pulled our bright orange new brita pitcher from the frig and explained why orange was the best option for us. Last night you scooped me up for a picture in the kitchen after picking me up for our dinner date. Today you texted me to make sure I ordered my snuggle pregnancy pillow so I can {try to} be comfortable when I wake up again. Have I told you how much I love you?

Soon there will be three...

We are so so so excited to share our big news...

John and I could not be more thankful for this little treasure that the Lord is forming inside me.

"For you created my inmost being;

 you knit me together in my mother's womb. 

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; 

your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place,

when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw my unformed body; 

all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

Psalm 139:13-16

Baby McGovern is coming April 2014!

Thankful for: Our Condo

So, I thought I posted this blog on November 1st... but turns out, I don't know how to post from my phone. So anyway... this is a few days late. :) And, it looks funny... but at this moment I'm not gonna retype it. Oh well.

Happy November!

As much as I love October, I am so excited to be passed Halloween... (Some of the costumes I saw were just too much for me!).

November brings continued weather changes (hopefully cooler!), a thankful spirit as we approach Thanksgiving, and the allowance of Christmas talk and jingles. It brings the smells of pumpkin and cinnamon, the coziness of a blanket and a fire, and warm home cooked meals (I'll work on that one).

Change. Ah, how you make me smile.

In a few days, J and I are moving to a little house (although bigger than our condo) with an extra bedroom and a yard for our puppies. We couldn't be more excited to switch up our neighborhood, have a bit of extra space, and start a new adventure. 

With that comes the sale of our sweet condo we've owned for the past five years. I tend not to be one that attaches to places or things, but as much as I love moving and change and am ready for something new, I will miss our first official home. We have invested a lot of time and money into beautifying it and J learned how to be quite the carpenter through all of the work we put into it. We got both Emma and Baker here, which is reason enough to be thankful for this place. We've also grown so much more than I could have imagined both individually and as a couple while living in this home. 

I'm thankful that home can be anywhere we make it.

I'm thankful we could make our little two bedroom condo on Gustavo Street our home. 

Thank you, Lord, for our special condo.

So...yeah

So much going on and so much to talk about! But some things will have to wait just a little longer for the blog...

I stillllll haven't finished documenting our Italy trip. I'm sure my sister thinks I forgot. I didn't. 

J got a new job! Da, da DA! He is now my rockstar Network Analyst at San Diego State University. So we are becoming Aztec fans by default. He is so happy to work for great people and a larger university and I am so happy he is happy!

J and I just got back (last week) from a little trip to Seattle, Portland and Roseburg, Oregon to see our besties. We always love Oregon, the Ritters are our faves, and Pike Place Market is sure a fun place to explore.

Every time we visit Oregon, we say we want to move there tomorrow. It's so stinking beautiful up there! But this time, along with the 'it's so amazing here' thoughts, we also felt a new sense of peace and contentment with our lives in San Diego, and are incredibly thankful for where we are at. We don't have plans to move to Oregon for quite awhile, if ever. We've decided will love our home city we are blessed to live in, give thanks that our family is so close (S and V, move here darn it), and make Oregon the family vacation spot.

Fall is here, which might be my favorite season. Well, I love winter, and Spring is pretty nice. Just not summer in El Cajon. Ugh. the heat is not my friend. But there's something about the anticipation of the upcoming holidays and change of seasons (even though it's still 86 degrees outside here) that makes my heart happy. I've failed at bringing out my fall decor this year, which I'm bummed about. But we did get two little pumpkins and I have a harvest sign that are happily sitting on our mantle and my desk. I also have yet to make anything pumpkin related, while last year I had pumpkin bread and cupcakes and muffins and cookies and pancakes going by now. Some years it just doesn't work out. But that's ok with me.

We did make a trip to Target and visited the fall Halloween section, which is not our favorite section by any means. (seriously, when did October turn into skulls and goblins month? what happened to harvest time and preparing for a heart of thankfulness?) But we did get quite a kick out of the gigantic skull heads larger than J. It was his idea to document it. 

I love my husband.

I'm sick as a dog (where in the world did that phrase come from?? It doesn't even make sense, my dogs aren't sick...) with most symptoms you can imagine, including crazy allergies, which is making looking at this computer screen a tad tricky. When I feel better, I'll upload my pics from our trip and also the rest of Italy (it was only 6 months ago...). 

Life feels crazy...doesn't it always?...but good. I'm feeling extra thankful this morning and that's a good thing. 

Lord, make my heart thankful every morning.

Letter to my husband

Dear J, you have been just the sweetest this week. Thanks for 'accidentally forgetting' to take your truck key and filling up my little car's gas tank instead. Thanks for sending me encouraging texts while I'm working to say you love me. You get the mail every day and you've fed the pups for me many evenings this week. I appreciate these things so much. Thanks for organizing the frig and emptying the dishwasher. You really are the cutest house husband. You brought me ice water and a slice of pizza tonight in bed because you knew I was too tired to go get it. I love doing nothing with you and doing everything with you. Thank you for doing the seemingly small tasks for me on a regular basis... They make all the difference. Team J forever. Love, Wife